Thursday, March 12, 2009

Random Thoughts from an Infertile Pregnant Woman

-Before I only paid half attention to everyone’s pregnancy and labor & delivery stories. Now I am ALL EARS.
-Why do maternity clothes look so much cuter on the models?
-Man, I am milking this. Frequent naps and milkshakes whenever I want (with out the guilt!) I know I will pay for this in the end but I just can’t seem to care about that right now (denial at its finest).
-Lots of people have their theories on why I became pregnant after so many years. I have my own: Bella and Ezra were always meant to be ours. With out infertility, they would have never found their way to our family. Because of that fact, I will always be grateful for infertility. Heavenly Father really knows what He is doing!
-I knew my uterus was supposed to expand...but, what’s up with my butt?
-I am truly terrified to deliver this baby. I had COMPLETELY come to terms with the thought of NEVER doing this in my lifetime!
-I had also long ago resolved my infertility grief (right about the time that little pink bundle was placed in my arms) and was happy at the prospect of adopting ALL of my kiddos. Having said that, I am thrilled to also have this opportunity to experience something that I thought just wasn’t in the cards for me.
-I have always said this and KNOW it remains true…Adopted or Biological…they are mine and I will love them all the same.
-Adoption is a miracle and I will miss the experience of receiving a child that way. But, I look forward to not feeling the grief and sadness and GUILT that comes along with taking someone’s baby (even though everyone knows it is the right thing).
-Seriously…I thought the boobs got big when the milk came in!
-Sometimes I feel guilty that this third child is coming into our family seemingly so easy…don’t we have to work harder to get a child? Having said that, I know that I have LOTS of hard work ahead of me and maybe I shouldn’t say this until AFTER I have experienced the full 9 months and gone through the delivery.
-The only difference between having a child through adoption or through birth that I am looking forward to is the prospect of being able to say, “Look, she has your nose and my hair” (or whatever). But, then again, do I really want all of our crazy genes passed on that badly? And we are constantly being told anyway how much Bella and Ez look like us (well, like Blaine in particular). This child probably won’t look a thing like us.
-I never thought I’d have kids so close in age and I am thrilled for them that they will have siblings to hang out with. What a gift.
-Now what about child number four? Will this happen again? Will I be Advanced Maternal Age the next time around? Will someone want to place a fourth child with us if this doesn’t happen again? And birth control? What is THAT???
-I’m going to give breastfeeding a try. But, I have definitely gotten used to the perks of having Blaine just as able to feed the baby as I was and of the ease of bottle-feeding. Having said that…Woohoo! Hopefully we won’t have to buy formula!
-Was that the baby kicking or just gas?
-Whoa…my dreams are seriously WEIRD and VIVID!
-Why so much snot?
-Drugs or no drugs? I’m pretty sure I’m opting for the path of least pain.
-Do my friends in the infertility/adoption world still count me as a valid member?
-Remember last year when we bought the mini van and I said, “If you buy it, they will come”? Well, apparently it is true. Along with other ironies such as losing 30 pounds, buying lots of skinny clothes only to find out just weeks later you are pregnant and promptly not fitting into those clothes anymore. And, giving away the one maternity shirt that you own (because you bought it once on sale not realizing it was maternity) and finding out a week later you are pregnant. BTW, I got the shirt back but it is red velvet and totally not appropriate for spring and summer!
-I love hearing Bella talk about how much she loves the baby in my tummy. She is also convinced it is a baby sister. We shall see!


Alison said...

you're too funny!!! loved reading your list.
yeah--pregnancy is a WHOLE body experience. so the butt, boobs, snot--its all normal. some of the dreams can be quite funky--i honestly think most movie screenplays come from pregnancy dreams.
glad you're having so much fun with this. don't worry about L&D, by the time you're full term, you'll be READY for it.
i won't tell you my stories, you really don't want to know.

tamiz said...

I had the WEIRDEST dreams while pregnant too! And the expanding butt among other things. If you didn't gain weight you'd be one of those ladies that everyone hates cuz the only sign they're pregnant is the basketball up their shirt. You want people to like you right??? HA

Anonymous said...

I LOVE this post! Just wait, your butt getting bigger isn't the only thing...your nose grows too! LOL! I'm so excited for you! And I'm pro-pain relief! :) Take care of yourself!

Heather said...

So funny! I am excited for you. Don't be terrified about delivery, it is amazing and fun. As for the boobs enjoy them while they are big because they will NEVER be the same again! HaHa.

Brad Hart said...

Hey Tirsa:

Just wanted to let you know that I have changed the address to my personal blog. It is now:

See ya!

Jolayne said...

I love your list. I didn't have snot as much as a stuffy nose. I snored when I was pregnant. It immediately went away after giving birth. Loved that part. If you think your boobs are big now, just wait.

LuAnn said...

So fun. I love what God makes of life.

Jessie and kids said...

heather is right, delivery is amazing and fun! A great book is Active Labor. It's really positive and explains a lot!

KrisJ said...

OMG you have me cracking up! YES to drugs! And I totally agree w/ you why you had infertility! BLESSINGS sometimes come with a bigger TOOSHIE!! HAHAHA lady now bring on the stretch marks and nighmares and all that fun stuff!

Jen said...

This post was too funny. I could relate on many of the comments. Lots of pounds, huge breasts and snot.... who knew? And although I love breastfeeding, I was thinking the other day how nice it would be to give one of those night feedings to Ben. How fun that you understand both sides. Not too many people can say that. Hope you are feeling well. As for the email when I update...I don't know if that is possible. I will try to figure it out. I am going private because I started getting spam in my comments. Yuck!!!

Jennifer said...

OK -- so I admit that from the lonely, dusty desert of AZ I anonymously keep up with people in Colorado from their blogs...but I couldn't be quiet about it this time because this post made me actually laugh out loud!! You are such a kick in the pants Tirsa! And as a former infertile pregnant woman myself (yes, it's true...), I am thoroughly enjoying watching you go through this experience. Really Tirsa, so many blessings in your life -- congratulations! (And yes, I so miss you and all of the other amazing women of the HL Ward...)

Jami said...

oh...enjoy!! It just gets better and better (and bigger and bigger)! Can't be more excited for your growing family!

Moose and Family said...

Pregnancy is a miracle and an amazing experience. I loved the labor and delivery process too! Congratulations again and again!!

Lisa said...

I think this ranks up there with some of my all time favorite posts! You summed your thoughts up all so well! I totally got chills when you mentioned that Heavenly Father knows what he is doing and that you wouldn't have Ez or Bella if you didn't have infertility issues. I am so happy for you.

I only have one more thing to say....DRUGS!!!!

Laine said...

i love this post Tirsa! I can relate to so much of it....

Steve and Kelli Fam said...

the butt, the belly, the boobs....ITS A PACKAGE DEAL BABY!

Tami Bee said...

This was awesome! You are too funny! This pregnancy absolutely happened just at the right time...all of our babies come to us the way they're supposed to! I enjoy your thoughts as a third time mom, in her first pregnancy!

Tiffany said...

Ha ha! I loved your list!Especially the snot. What is up with the increased bodily fluids? I hope everything goes well, with no pain, and lots of neat experiences! (And I'm totally pro drugs. Why do you think we were born in this day and age? ha ha)