Our Family Soon To Be...

This is Bella's depiction of what our family is going to look like when the baby is born. She started drawing with a black pen that she got at Subway in her kid's meal (that is why I look like Elvira). She started to add other colors after she drew me (all of you social workers who have taken a class on art therapy, let's not read into that, o.k.). Anyway, she drew Ez taller than herself because she wanted to draw him as "a big brother". But the best part of this picture is her depiction of the baby. Notice that it is a little girl with red hair and blue eyes. Yep, apparently Bella wants a baby sister that looks exactly like her! We are likely to disappoint!

Bella talks about the baby being a girl so much that I have even become convinced it is a girl. We are taking Bella with us to the ultrasound that we have in a week and a half. I asked her what she will say if the doctor says it is a boy and she said, "I'll just say, that's o.k.". So, we'll see how that all plays out. I have this vision of her starting to cry if the doc says it is a boy but maybe she'll just surprise us.


And here is another preggers pic.

24 hours of us time

Blaine and I enjoyed 24 hours to ourselves in Denver last night to celebrate his birthday, which isn't actually until Monday. Thanks to my parents, we were able to be kid-free. It was a lot of fun just focusing on us and why we like each other so much. :)

Yummo! PF Changs never disappoints!

Homeboy knows how to keep the pregnant woman satisfied! Cheesecake Factory AND Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. O.K...so we ate ALOT during these 24 hours away! BTW, I shared!

And what do you know...more eating! Before we went home we ate lunch at an Argentine Pizzeria that we've always wanted to go to downtown. It was great!

All eating aside, I really am lucky to have Blaine as my husband. He works so hard for his family and although he is frequently gone with work, school, and clinicals, he always finds a way to let us know that we are his number one priority. He does so very much for us and I'd be lost with out him. I am blessed to have him as my husband, best friend, and father to my children. So here is to growing old together! Love you, Babe!

Pics: Preggers and cute kids.

And there's the belly for the inquiring minds that want to know.

Bella and her super cute playgroup princess friends. They love to play dress up.

Ez in all of his cuteness.


Bella is so proud of herself now that she is riding a "two wheeler" as she calls it.

Unconditional Love

I've tried to teach Bella about unconditional love as we've disciplined over the past few years. When she hasn't behaved and I've had to put her in time out, I've explained to her afterwards that even though she makes choices that might disappoint me, I always love her and I will always love her. Well, this morning I was rushing to get us out the door to church and I'll admit it...I was being impatient and probably not so nice. Once in the car Bella said to me, "Mom, do you like me?" "OF COURSE I LIKE YOU HONEY. I LOVE YOU!" I told her. Then she said to me, "Mom, I always love you too. Even when you put me in time out, I still love you." Well, her sweet words pulled me right out of my grouchy mood. I am so blessed to be her mom and to receive her unconditional love.

Nursery Success

Today Ez went to the church nursery for the first time. I was prepared for an adjustment period but he walked in and squealed at all of the toys and started playing hard. I stayed for a few minutes until the leaders told me I could probably just leave. So I did. When he saw me going, he cried but I stayed outside the door and he was done with that as soon as he couldn't see me anymore. When I went to pick him up they said he laughed and played the whole time and was their easiest kid. Wow, that was easy. Now maybe I might be able to get something out of church, at least for the next few months. I was thinking about what a happy and energetic boy he is. He is just one of those kids that has a real zest for life. He smiles and laughs out loud and is a total social butterfly. He says "hi" to anyone whose eye he can catch. He has become an excellent sleeper...12 hours straight and he usually hangs out awake in his crib until we go get him in the morning. Then he has a big hug and snuggle for whoever is around. He is so cuddly and I love it. He really is a charming little boy and I just can't help but love this kid.

Random Thoughts from an Infertile Pregnant Woman

-Before I only paid half attention to everyone’s pregnancy and labor & delivery stories. Now I am ALL EARS.
-Why do maternity clothes look so much cuter on the models?
-Man, I am milking this. Frequent naps and milkshakes whenever I want (with out the guilt!) I know I will pay for this in the end but I just can’t seem to care about that right now (denial at its finest).
-Lots of people have their theories on why I became pregnant after so many years. I have my own: Bella and Ezra were always meant to be ours. With out infertility, they would have never found their way to our family. Because of that fact, I will always be grateful for infertility. Heavenly Father really knows what He is doing!
-I knew my uterus was supposed to expand...but, what’s up with my butt?
-I am truly terrified to deliver this baby. I had COMPLETELY come to terms with the thought of NEVER doing this in my lifetime!
-I had also long ago resolved my infertility grief (right about the time that little pink bundle was placed in my arms) and was happy at the prospect of adopting ALL of my kiddos. Having said that, I am thrilled to also have this opportunity to experience something that I thought just wasn’t in the cards for me.
-I have always said this and KNOW it remains true…Adopted or Biological…they are mine and I will love them all the same.
-Adoption is a miracle and I will miss the experience of receiving a child that way. But, I look forward to not feeling the grief and sadness and GUILT that comes along with taking someone’s baby (even though everyone knows it is the right thing).
-Seriously…I thought the boobs got big when the milk came in!
-Sometimes I feel guilty that this third child is coming into our family seemingly so easy…don’t we have to work harder to get a child? Having said that, I know that I have LOTS of hard work ahead of me and maybe I shouldn’t say this until AFTER I have experienced the full 9 months and gone through the delivery.
-The only difference between having a child through adoption or through birth that I am looking forward to is the prospect of being able to say, “Look, she has your nose and my hair” (or whatever). But, then again, do I really want all of our crazy genes passed on that badly? And we are constantly being told anyway how much Bella and Ez look like us (well, like Blaine in particular). This child probably won’t look a thing like us.
-I never thought I’d have kids so close in age and I am thrilled for them that they will have siblings to hang out with. What a gift.
-Now what about child number four? Will this happen again? Will I be Advanced Maternal Age the next time around? Will someone want to place a fourth child with us if this doesn’t happen again? And birth control? What is THAT???
-I’m going to give breastfeeding a try. But, I have definitely gotten used to the perks of having Blaine just as able to feed the baby as I was and of the ease of bottle-feeding. Having said that…Woohoo! Hopefully we won’t have to buy formula!
-Was that the baby kicking or just gas?
-Whoa…my dreams are seriously WEIRD and VIVID!
-Why so much snot?
-Drugs or no drugs? I’m pretty sure I’m opting for the path of least pain.
-Do my friends in the infertility/adoption world still count me as a valid member?
-Remember last year when we bought the mini van and I said, “If you buy it, they will come”? Well, apparently it is true. Along with other ironies such as losing 30 pounds, buying lots of skinny clothes only to find out just weeks later you are pregnant and promptly not fitting into those clothes anymore. And, giving away the one maternity shirt that you own (because you bought it once on sale not realizing it was maternity) and finding out a week later you are pregnant. BTW, I got the shirt back but it is red velvet and totally not appropriate for spring and summer!
-I love hearing Bella talk about how much she loves the baby in my tummy. She is also convinced it is a baby sister. We shall see!

Girl or Boy?

I want to know! I know that I already have one of each and we really don't care either way, but I am just one of those people who likes to plan. I want to refer to our baby as "him" or "her", not "it". I want to sort and wash clothes and, of course, do a little shopping too. I want to start really figuring out a name. I want to prepare the kiddos for who will be joining them. I want to figure out bedrooms and decorations and maybe get a new crib set. Yes, I am going to find out. I don't even understand how some of you people don't! I know, I know...you like the surprise. I like surprises, too. I just want to find out the surprise around 20 weeks, not at delivery. I think I'm going to be surprised enough at labor and delivery and all of those things that go with it. I'll be surprised at the size of the baby and what he or she looks like. I'll have enough surprises, I'm sure, on that day. But, for now, I want to have some fun planning for the arrival of the little one. So, take my poll and tell me what you think. Will Bella and Ez have a baby sister or brother joining them? We'll find out in April. Can't wait!